Chili Relleno Poblano Peppers Recipe
The Chili Relleno Chronicles: A Recipe… And a Rant
Listen, before we dive into these damn near perfect Chili Relleno Poblano Peppers, I need to address a workplace scandal that has haunted me for years. Because there’s no expiration date on disrespect, and this memory is still simmering like a pot of vegetable oil.
Allow me to set the stage: Once upon a time, I had a mortal enemy at work. Or rather, she made me her enemy. Me? I was too self-absorbed to notice. But oh, she hated me. Every fiber of my existence to be exact. How did I know this? Because she told any everyone with a pulse besides ME.
One day, she decided to spice things up by telling everyone that I pushed her. Pushed. Her. First of all, not my style. I’m dramatic, yes. I’ve thrown a drink on a man at work (justified, thank you), but if I were going to push someone, trust me, there would’ve been choreography. Lighting cues. Tickets sold.
Here’s what actually happened: I politely said, “Excuse me,” and lightly touched her shoulder. Lightly. A caress, even. If she wanted to accuse me of anything, it should’ve been unwanted affection, not this war crime she speaks of. But instead she took creative liberties, and suddenly I’m being pulled aside by coworkers like, “omg what made you push her?” And I am like… “push who?” Because this person was nowhere near my orbit. My evil doings are exclusively reserved for the male species. Not women who are mediocre at their jobs.
It’s been five years since “the incident.” And if I ever see her again? I’m considering treating her the way I treated these peppers: roasted and skinned alive.
The real kicker? She did this because I was competition. If only she could have channeled her creativity into her job instead. Maybe she would not have felt threatened. I was new, I was amazing, and she couldn’t handle it.
But enough about that. Let’s focus on what matters: feeding our petty souls with something delicious.
Chili Relleno Poblano Peppers
(For when you’re simmering with rage but still need to eat.)
Total Time 4 hours 30 minutes
Chili Relleno Poblano Peppers
For when you’re simmering with rage but still need to eat.
INGREDIENTS:
For the chile rellenos:
• 6 large poblano peppers
• 8 oz Monterey Jack cheese, shredded
• 4 cups oil, for frying
• 3 eggs
• ½ cup all-purpose flour
• ½ tsp fine salt
For the salsa:
• 6 roma tomatoes
• ½ yellow onion
• 5 cloves garlic
• 1 jalapeño (or jarred peppers and juice, if you misplaced your fresh ones like I did)
• 5–8 sprigs cilantro
• Salt & pepper
• 1 tsp olive oil
INSTRUCTIONS
1. Roast the Peppers:
• Broil poblanos for 5 minutes per side, or until blackened and blistered.
• Cover with foil to steam for 5 minutes, then peel off as much skin as you can.
• Carefully cut a slit in each pepper, remove seeds, and stuff with cheese. Close with toothpicks.
2. Prepare the Batter:
• Separate egg whites and yolks. Beat whites until stiff peaks form. Slowly add yolks until smooth and fluffy.
3. Fry the Peppers:
• Heat oil in a large pan. Roll peppers in flour, then dip in batter.
• Fry 3–5 minutes per side until golden. Drain on a paper towel.
4. Blend the Salsa:
• Throw all salsa ingredients into a blender and blend until smooth.
5. Serve Hot:
• Drizzle salsa over your crispy, cheesy peppers. Pair with a side of vindication and a margarita.
6. Enjoy:
Now when someone tries to dim my light, I channel that energy into something productive—like these stuffed poblanos. Because while I may not lay hands, I do lay fire in the kitchen.
